Qualities I Look for in the Perfect Man

With all my crazy stories about disappointing love and hook-ups that go nowhere, I think it’s pretty clear I needed to put together a list of qualities that I was looking for in the perfect guy.

In reality, this list was something that I wanted myself to emulate. After all, you are who you attract, right? If you’re insecure, negative, and an overall sucky person — chances are, you’re probably going to attract the same type of person.

Well.. that’s no help to anyone! It’s why I put together this damn list.

Confidence is sexy. While many people have their own insecurities, no woman wants a dude who is always down on himself. At the same time.. over-confidence and cockiness is also a problem. Personally, I’m not down with that.

Loyalty is another thing, and this goes both ways. I can’t expect loyalty from a man if I’m out and about fuckin’ around too. I’ve dated guys who seemed perfect, they had it all except loyalty. What good is a “perfect” guy when he’s messing with 5 other chicks?

Responsibility is sexy AF. Nothing is hotter than a guy who has his shit together. I mean, you don’t even need to have everything together, but don’t be lazy. Do what you say you’re going to do and have good follow through.

Independence is usually not a problem with guys. There are the guys who have been single for awhile, so they’re really good at being independent. But once the first whiff of a potential relationship turns their way, they get all clingy/needy and stuff. I personally prefer when a guy is able to maintain his own life while finding time for me as well. No one wants to be in that relationship where one or both partners lose themselves.

Stand-up guys are awesome. I’m not talking about comedy (though that helps too), but like… solid men. His friends and peers adore him, and you know you can always depend on him. He’s the dude who will always show up, and he will build you up when you’re feeling low.

Intelligence is a really big plus. I’m not Einstein, but I’d like to think I’m well-educated while being overall street-savvy. I need someone who can match me on both levels. Honestly, I find it difficult to find this balance in a guy. A guy who’s never graduated college could have oodles have street-smarts and have that “grit” you only get from living life. A dude with a diploma can talk about literature and numbers.. and there’s also an academic level of maturity. I don’t know. This one is hard to explain.

Fuckin’ swag man.  Seriously though, who doesn’t appreciate a man with some swagger? This comes in many different forms.. maybe he can dance, or he’s smooth AF, or he’s got those penetrating eyes that just disarm you. Not gonna lie, I’m a charming lady with lots of spunk, so you gotta match my skillz a bit.

Financially and emotionally stable guys are the way to go. My girls in TLC said it best.. ain’t nobody want no scrubs! If you don’t have enough money to pay for gas, HOW DA FUH are you able to survive bro? Ain’t no way I’m taking care of you. If I have to lend my man money, OH HAIIIILLLLLZ NO. Also, if you’re getting mad at me over every little opinion I have, trust I won’t be sticking around for long. I NEED A GUY WHO CAN HANDLE ME.

Have a good heart. My dad isn’t going to be winning any Dad of the Year awards soon, but when I visited him back in October (Related Post: Visiting My Dad in Prison), he gave me one piece of advice that I will always remember. When I’m looking for a guy.. be sure he’s good to others, good to me, and good to himself. Guys who are regularly kind and helpful to others are really sexy to me. Panty droppers.

There are other qualities too.. more minor. I also like them clean, fit/healthy, family-oriented, well-read, funny, handsome, direct, alpha males, protective, brave, decisive.. guys who are constantly pushing themselves towards success while maintaining humility.

My pattern though? I guess I kind of go for guys with the whole “started from the bottom” aspect about them. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of great guys who grew up privileged, and they still understand the value of kindness and hard work, but I just connect better with the guys who grew up with nothing. Who knows though.

So basically I’m looking for Mr. Unicorn. Whatever. I’ve worked hard throughout the years, and I’ve gone through certain experiences that have made me who I am today. If I can handle being most of these qualities, a dude can too.

Now I just need to weed through all these fuckboys..