STORYTIME: Lost My Cool With Potential Dream Guy

Dog toys were scattered everywhere at Troy’s place (the dude in this post: Who Keeps the Dog? Stealing Simba Back From My Crazy Ex). He had just gotten home from work, and I was at his apartment babysitting our dogs. He whipped a cigarette out from his pack of Marlboro Reds, and *chkkkh* (that’s the sound of his lighter lol). I take this as the green light to take out one of my cigarettes, and I join in on the smoking.

I updated Troy on my day, told him his doggy was good at the dog park earlier, and that both dogs should probably stop by the park one more time before I go home. He nodded and looked out the window. *Puff puff*

We got along pretty well (think of this relationship as a bro/sis relationship!!!), and in the middle of our chat, the subject of dating came up. I told him I’m casually dating, but not looking for anything serious because of my situation (at the time, I was still married, unemployed and lame). I needed to focus on other things such as my dog, my apartment, and finding a job.

Troy: So, I don’t know if you’re looking for dudes, but I know a guy who lives in my building who seems like a real ladykiller.
Me: Oh yeah? Well.. I’m a maneater! (I’m not)
Troy: I can introduce you guys, but don’t get mad at me if it doesn’t work out.
Me: Huh? Who said I wanted to meet him? Don’t introduce us! I’m not in the right place to meet guys, and there are so many other dudes in my life already. I can’t.
Troy: *SHRUGS* OK, sure. Up to you, let me know when you change your mind.

And that was that. Until we finished our cigarettes and went downstairs to the dog park.

Troy went ahead with his dog and flew past me! Meanwhile, I struggled to hold on to my fur baby Simba (he sucks at walking on a leash by the way) as he pulled me towards another direction.

I remember seeing someone else heading towards the dog park with their dog. I remember fighting to keep Simba next to me. I remember Simba pulling me towards the other person and their dog. I remember Simba running circles around me and the other owner so that we were tangled up. I remember apologetically looking up at the other owner, and I remember being pleasantly surprised.. thinking, “Wow.. this guy is fucking hot.” Then it clicked.

TROY NEVER MEANT TO RESPECT MY WISHES, AND HE FUCKING INTRODUCED ME TO HIS LADY KILLING FRIEND ANYWAYS. DAMMIT TROY IF YOU WEREN’T SO DAMN NICE HELPING ME TAKE CARE OF MY DOG, I WOULD BE SO PISSED.

Anyways, Troy’s beautiful friend’s name was Jonathan. I don’t even want to give him a nickname because his name is so darn common. But yeah..homeboy had me flustered. Something I don’t often feel for a dude.

Honestly, whenever I’ve interacted with guys of Jonathan’s “hot” caliber, I usually tried to play it cool as if I weren’t interested AT ALL. *sigh*

Back to my story, after we untangled our doggy leashes, we were both all smiles when we finally joined Troy at the dog park.

I found out that Jonathan was not only tall, dark, and handsome.. he was also smart and athletic. He was also successful. He was a year older than me, a busy guy, social, stylish, with a smug swagger about him. Not to mention his dog was incredibly well-behaved.. especially compared to my nutcase of a fur ball.

I didn’t really have much to say about myself. I told him I was freelance writing. He responded, “So you’re unemployed?” Ouch. *insert insecure reaction here* I mean. Yeah, I was unemployed too, but damn. SO EMBARRASSING. Smart guys pick up on everything. THIS WAS WHY I DIDN’T WANT TROY TO INTRODUCE US.

Although it was a bit awkward at first (we both knew that Troy was setting us up and I’m a lame-0), we eventually hit it off.. and ended up talking about dating apps out of all the subjects. Jonathan told me he recently bought this dating advice website, to which I responded, “I probably read it before.” He laughed lol. Yes. Success.

Next thing you know, we ended up chatting for about three hours. If you’re a dog owner, then you’ll know that being at the dog park for three hours is an obscenely long time. AND WHERE THE EFF WAS TROY?!!? We looked around, and Troy was GONE *POOOOOOF*. How convenient.

Anyways, I guess Jonathan enjoyed our chat. Or maybe he found me boring but physically attractive, but we ended up trading numbers, and I went back to Troy’s apartment. I was in the middle of scolding him when I received a ding on my phone.

Jonathan hit me up with a text, “What r u up to?”

Within three text messages, I was at Jonathan’s place doing stuff. Yeah. Stuff. With Netflix playing in the background.. and that was the beginning of our little fling. UGH I’M A WEAK WOMAN. That night, I remember he said I was welcome to stay over, but I decided to go home. I didn’t want to stay over, c’mon. I know what I look like in the morning, and Jonathan didn’t need to see it. After we did our business, I slept a little bit in his arms, said my goodbyes, and quietly left.

Thinking back, going upstairs to his place the first day we met was my first mistake. When I realized that this guy was Dream Guy material, I should have played my cards WAY differently. Oh well.. what happened happened, and at the time, I didn’t want a relationship, so I ended up throwing opportunities like that out the window.

Everything happens for a reason, right?

Bringing My Dog on a Hike

Life has been a lot better now that I have my dog back (See Related: Who Keeps the Dog? Stealing Simba Back From My Crazy Ex). I’ve been hanging out with friends, getting my court papers in order, and getting settled into my new apartment. I’ve also been trying to get back into working out and being active, so I decided one day to go hiking with Simba.

We went to one of those dog-friendly hiking spots, just me and him. Since my little fur baby was getting older, I wanted to try  taking him off his leash just to see if he’d behave. Well…right now he sucks. His normal while he’s on-leash is to pull, pull, pull. However, when I set this fella loose into the park, he ran around me like some little maniac. Then another owner and her dog walk by, and Simba began following that doggy.

When I mean “following”, I actually mean chasing!

First of all, I was confused and didn’t know what to do. This was a new thing to me. I guess Simba zoned out too because at one point he ran STRAIGHT AT ME, or rather, THROUGH ME.

Me: “NoOOOOOOO SIMBA STOPPPPPPPPPP”
*WHAM*

Like some kind of cartoon character, I was swept forward onto a faceplant. In front of my new friend Monica too!! That’s the name of the other dog owner — the one Simba was chasing. Anyways, she tried really hard not to laugh but girl busted out laughing. Double ouch.

I didn’t really care about the embarrassment, it was pretty funny. But DAMN. It fucking hurt. I now have scratches on my hands, elbows, hips, and I’m definitely going to bruise tomorrow.

Simba: 1, Homegirl: 0